Truly heartbreaking news beyond words… As per Epress report, hatred and pressures from family may have been the last straw leading them to commit suicide.
Դեպքից որոշ ժամանակ առաջ անչափահաս տղան փախել էր տնից։ Երիտասարդների համատեղ լուսանկարների մեկնաբանություններում նրանցից մեկի մայրը գրել էր՝ «ես էլ չկամ», «դու, որպես անչափահաս, լավ կլինի գնաս սատկես», իսկ «հետինդ պատասխան ա տալու օրենքի ամենադաժան խստությամբ», «էտ չափահաս ոչխարը իրա կյանքի դժոխքը ստորագրեց»։ Տղաների (ենթադրյալ) ինքնասպանությունից հետո կինը հեռացրել է իր բոլոր մեկնաբանությունները, փոխարենը՝ հրապարակել մահացած որդու լուսանկարը՝ «Իմ սիրուն բալա 🖤🖤🖤 Կյանքիս ամենասև օրը» մակագրությամբ։Whatever the exact underlying reasons that led them to commit suicide, it will be reflective of multilevel triggers and failures. Personal issues, including mental health, family (the above comments which mother reportedly posted and then deleted, as per Epress - this has not been refuted - can never be viewed as supportive even though some friends of family later tried suggesting a ‘supportive loving family environment’), society with rampant homophobia and lack of widely accessible mental health support services…
As usual in such cases, we got a mixture of supportive and hateful comments on social media. But unfortunately the reaction was far from what can be described as “shock”, as CivilNet suggested, even though I would have liked to see the Armenian society shocked to the core so that actions can be taken and processes put in place.
See below report by RFE/RL Armenian service:
As of now, there have been a total silence from state level officials. They continue the shameful trend of not acknowledging the existence of LGBT citizens. Silence was the reaction, not the shock.
This suicide of young gay couple exposed yet again Armenia’s appalling record re LGBT rights and societal homophobia in contrast with country’s high democratic credentials achieved since 2018 Velvet Revolution.
The three countries at the bottom of the Rainbow Europe 2022 scale are Azerbaijan (2%), Turkey (4%), and Armenia (8%), exactly the same as the last two years. [Ironically, when it comes to LGBT rights, Armenia, Azerbaijan and Turkey share the accolade of being the worst]
Yes, it’s difficult to think of anything else when you are consumed by concerns of security and survival in the face of attacks by dictatorial neighbours Azerbaijan and Turkey.
For a long time I could not concentrate on writing for those very reasons. But just because we don’t write, just because we don’t speak up, doesn’t mean that the situation on the ground is becoming any less appalling. ‘It’s not a good time…’ - we hear or say to ourselves. It is always a good time to speak up about human rights. Or else, that ‘good time’ will never come.
In the meantime, if you suffer from similar issues, please contact some of the support services, such as those provided by PINK Armenia (see below details).
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And for anyone screaming about age gap, read this important thread by @jpderboghossian:
Age gap relationships among LGBTQ youth is COMPLICATED.
Overwhelming, particularly in rural and small countries, queer youth may only know a handful of other queer peers.
For queer youth who want to have a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner this creates a quandary when you know only one or two other potential partners. If there is an age gap of 3-5 years this presents a HUGE challenge in thinking. You want to have the experience, but you're underage.
This leads to "trade-off" behavior. I'm giving up this for that.
Queer youth live in a different reality than cis-het youth because they grow up in a diaspora. They have to find their people. And the desire to have friendships/relationships is paramount.
It is 100% heightened emotionally when you're a teen and in a rural or small area/country.
We need to create spaces that allow for age appropriate LGBTQ friendships and relationships. We need to have queer-positive sex education. We need to have supportive families.
Without these, we create a problematic situation for queer youth when presented with age-gap relationships of 3-5 years. They don't have support, they don't have access to peers, they are isolated, and craving friendships/relationships.
As I learned later, ALL the queer kids in my High School ended up having relationships with college-aged queer folx. They were either too afraid to come out in HS (no support, no community) and so turned to folx in college. Which is obviously a problem.
But what we CANNOT do is conflate the reality of cis-het youth and queer youth. Completely different realities which requires different interventions and support.
We need in-person and online communities (NOT Grindr) that promote age-appropriate community.
We also need to provide support so that queer youth know that they are LOVED for who they are and that they have access to the resources to build a life and future (education, healthcare, jobs, housing, etc.)
We also need to recognize how age of consent laws are weaponized against queer youth. This article is from 2020 and progressive California where Queer discrimination is baked into CA age of consent law.
We also need a better conversation about what age of consent means when it is 16 years old as in Armenia. Does consent only apply when their partners are less than 3 years older than them? Remembering the above queer realities, we need to help queer youth understand consent.
There are no simple narratives here. We need to contextualize queer age-gap relationships within the larger and messier realities that we've created for queer youth. If you're not actively trying to create a positive and supportive community then you're part of the problem.
This hurts my heart 💔
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