Monday, 4 May 2009

Lesbian Armenian: moving and liberating personal account on ‘coming out’ to parents

I highly recommend reading this honest, moving and liberating personal account on ‘coming out’ to parents by a lesbian Armenian “Chicago Girl”. She just came out to her Armenian parents at the turning point in her life, after breaking up with her girlfriend of 5 years and turning forty.

She was out to (almost) everyone except family members, because she always thought that “family was different”. She was afraid of upsetting her parents. However, break up shook the things up in her life, and made her realised that she “allowed the fear of disappointing and potentially losing [her] family rob [her] of [her] own future happiness”.
[...] This break up made me reassess everything in my life. Two weeks after the break up I came out to my best friend from growing up and to my older brother and his wife (who were as supportive, loving and accepting). Then to my father (who said he loves me no matter what and that I am a great daughter). Then I had a nice, adult-like sit down with my mom and dad in their living room where I told them what I think I deserve in life and that they have to work towards acknowledging my sexuality. After that I told my younger brother. This mission could not have been aborted. I was determined, sincere, focused and gentle. And I did it for my future and the happiness of my future family.

The 'break up' also led to a 'shake up' in my soul. Coming clean like this was the closest thing to a religious experience that I ever felt. It was like being re-born; like baptizing my soul and liberating it from the immobilization caused by years of fear and some layers of shame. Today, I am a better, more self-aware version of myself. And, my life has transformed leading up to and after turning 40 in every way possible. As a result of coming out to my entire family, everything has changed. broken heart remains.
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